On Leaving Home

leaving-home

Exactly one year ago today — July 18 — I left home. Got in my car and followed a longing to fulfill something deep within me. But I hadn’t realize just how scared I was until I locked and closed the door to my house, leaving everything behind — my son, my dog, all my possessions. I had no clue what I would find in Texas, how I would be cared for, how I would support myself financially, or what shape things would be in when I returned. It definitely felt like a major risk.

Yet I felt absolutely certain I had to risk it.

And I’m so glad I did.

Nothing was as I expected. So  many challenges. So many doubts and questions along the way.

And it was all good.

The journey taught me some things that, even though I thought I knew them, I didn’t really “know.” Not until I actually lived them.

Here are some of my favorites:

  • Trust your inner guidance.
  • You have a deeper wisdom and tremendous inner strength that kick in when you ask for help and trust enough to listen.
  • It’s safe to leap.
  • When you follow your heart, the Universe really does provide.
  • Even though you sometimes feel all alone, you never are.
  • Your true self will keep you company through any darkness.
  • Love connections can be made in an instant. Even when you don’t speak the language very well.
  • You don’t have to know where you’re going. You only have to “do the next right thing that’s in front of you.” (This one’s from Sr. Brigid Marie, my dear spiritual mentor who provided a light for my path during a dark time in San Antonio.)
  • Celebrate the unique way God is revealing Godself in the world through you. (Another gem from Sr. Brigid Marie.)
  • You can live in liminal space a lot longer than you think.
  • Love and grace are always available. You’re the only one that blocks them from getting through.

And the most important of all:

When I can still the voices long enough to be in the silence, I hear a gentle and quiet Spirit that whispers nothing but love in my ear and fills me with this one truth: I am loved beyond measure. In return, I am asked to love “the unseen” and the “not-yet.”

In those moments, this is what I do know: that everything — all things — live and move and have their being in God’s love.

Sometimes I have a hard time accepting and taking this in. I have to remind myself that I KNOW this.  I may not know where my next home will be or how I’ll live out the next step of this journey. But I do know when I truly listen and follow, Love gives me what I need.

Maybe I’ll remember this next time I close the door behind me.log-cabin-front-door

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7 thoughts on “On Leaving Home

  1. Rob Morrell

    Really good stuff, Pauline. A sort of summary of “lessons learned” that we can return to again and again as a touchstone of guidance and reassurance.

    Thank you!

    Love,
    Rob

    Like

    1. Pauline

      Rob! So good to hear from you “across the pond.” I needed to write about these touchstones to remind myself as much as to offer them to others. Thanks for your support and love.

      Like

  2. Maureen

    Thank you Pauline for wonderful reminders of all the grace and gifts that are available to us. When I get ahead of myself – and of grace – I hope to remember your advice to “love the unseen and not yet” Just what I needed to hear this morning.
    Love
    Maureen

    Like

  3. Sue Dougherty

    Pauline, your insight in your blog posts is always wonderful, but I think this one is the best yet. What a gift you are to all of us! Thank you for these essential life reminders.

    Like

  4. Janie Eckman

    What a reflective wise blog you wrote, Pauline. You have infinite faith and hope and love. May we all grow in these virtues as you have.

    Like

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